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Dan Sadin On Relationships and Male Vulnerability

Posted on 2 m read

Written by Dan Sadin

You know that feeling when a song you love is just burning inside of you? It’s the feeling I had when I first heard “I’m on Fire” by Bruce Springsteen. You can literally feel Springsteen going up in flames singing about this woman. And his feelings transfer to you, the listener – it’s magical. I wanted to have that raw emotion captured in a song I wrote.

With “Here Comes The Heartbreak,” I felt like I was on fire in a different way. At its surface, this song is about the end of a relationship, a true heartbreak. But digging deeper, it’s really about a breakdown of communication, an inability to let my guard down and say the things I wanted to say to my girlfriend at the time.

The lyrics tell the story of watching the heartbreak come and not being able to do anything about it. Knowing that in some alternate reality I might have had the power to stop it, but right then at the crucial moment I couldn’t. I could never express what I was feeling well enough to let my girlfriend in. I never learned how. I don’t think I even knew what I was feeling, to be honest. And I lost a truly meaningful relationship in the end.

Deep down I think I’ve been conditioned to believe that I have to be strong all of the time, and that men can’t be seen as both sensitive and strong in the same context. I think this also speaks to a larger piece missing from today’s social culture:  that true vulnerability and emotional awareness is lacking from our masculine vocabulary. Why is James Blake a “sad boy” because he writes about how he’s feeling? As he recently put it, this kind of response is “unhealthy and problematic”.

I love this song and see it not only as an ode to an ex-lover, but also as a tender and important reminder that it’s okay to explore, connect with, and express my feelings.

Check out Dan’s video for “Here Comes The Heartbreak” below!

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